Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:00:42] Speaker B: It's six o' clock and time again for Brain Matters, the official radio show of the UA Counseling Center. We are broadcasting from the campus of the University of Alabama. Good evening. I'm Dr. B.J. guenther and I'm the host of the show along with my colleague and producer Kathryn Howell. And in case you don't know, this show is about mental and physical health issues that affect college students and in particular UA students. So you can listen to us each Tuesday night at 6pm on 90.7 FM or you can listen online at WBUAFM UA.edu. you can also download any of your favorite listening apps I like the MyTuner radio app or and just type in WVUAFM 90.7 and you'll find us there. Also, if you have this is our first show for the fall semester, so if you have any upcoming show ideas, we have some really interesting shows planned. But I do always ask for show ideas topic ideas, and if you have any, please email those to me@brainwritersradiobuafm ua edu and of course I'll consider using your idea. And I always say no topic is really off limits limits if it has to do with college mental health. And there's probably some topics we need to revisit that we have not talked about in a while. Just things like test anxiety, stress stress.
You know, we're gonna have a show coming up about comparing yourself to others. I have actually had a few students already who that is an issue for them. They're seniors, both of them, and they're already worried about, you know, how they're doing or if they're gonna get a job. And they're really bottle it. You know, it's basically they're comparing themselves to other people in their class who's graduating too. So we're gonna talk about I think that'll be the first Tuesday in October. I can't remember the date, but that'll be a great show. But tonight I thought we'd start the show off with an interesting topic. You know It's September again. And for many of us, September's always carried the feeling of a fresh start, even long after we've been out of school. Like myself, there's something about this time of year that makes us think about new routines, new goals, perhaps a new version of ourselves. And for college students especially, a new semester can come with tremendous amount of pressure. And this semester, you know, like saying things to yourself, like, I'm going to be more organized. I'm going to make better grades, I'm going to make more friends. I'm not going to procrastinate. I'll figure out my major, or I'll get healthier, or I finally want to be, you know, I finally will be the person that I want to be. So I've titled the show It's September Again. Starting a new semester without starting over. And as we as well, a new semester can certainly be an opportunity for change. It can also be exhausting to feel as though every August, August, September, we have to completely reinvent ourselves. So today we're asking a slightly different question. What if starting a new semester doesn't mean starting over? And what if growth can mean carrying forward what we've learned, making some adjustments and continuing this journey in college, even if some of the same struggles show up again? And tonight My guest is Dr. Stephanie Marcello. She is the chief psychologist and director for Rutgers University Behavioral Health Care. And I'm just tickled to death that you, you've agreed to be on the show. Thank you so much for being on the show.
[00:04:09] Speaker C: I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for asking me.
[00:04:13] Speaker B: I introduce you as the chief psychologist and director of Rutgers University Behavioral Health. But give us more, give the listeners more information about yourself, where you're from, what your credentials are, why you're interested in this topic.
[00:04:27] Speaker C: So let's say I'm from New Jersey.
I done a lot of work for my doctor. I got my PhD at Temple University, so have done a lot of work in inpatient psychiatry and psychology, a lot of work in trauma, substance use, and really this like, emerging adulthood area. So I work a lot with individuals who are, you know, necessarily have graduated from college or didn't even go from college. But I think so much of it starts here. So much. And I think that really where we are focused on is that it's changing. It is just ever changing with technology and AI and, and, you know, the way it looked when I was in my late teens, early 20s is very different than how it looks now. So I definitely, I'm a clinical psychologist, but mostly grounded in developmental psychology. So how much of what we do really understanding like the complexity of all of the different areas that go into, you know, supporting students. I do teach, so I teach in college, not at Rutgers and teach somewhere else. And then I have a private practice at nights and weekends. So for me, my, my passion, I would say if I describe myself, is the intersection of research, education and clinical work. And so where those three areas meet.
And I'm very passionate about integrated health care.
[00:05:48] Speaker B: So yes.
[00:05:49] Speaker C: How do we, you know, how do we embed psychologists and social workers and LPCs right in the primary care practices, women's health, OB, GYN right there. So that we're doing whole person treatment. So that's just a little bit about some of the work that I do.
[00:06:04] Speaker B: You're doing a lot. What's the class you're teaching? I'm curious, what's the title?
[00:06:07] Speaker C: I'm teaching one on resilience.
Risk and resilience. I teach a course on developmental psychology, psychological disorders and sometimes motivational interviewing, which is kind of my absolute passion.
[00:06:23] Speaker B: That's cool. I mean that really, you know, these are major transitions for college students. And that's why I wanted to have you on the show because of your research in the area of just, you know, what you mentioned. And also you have experience with college students. They're different. They're different. You know, I think in our community here in Tuscaloosa, even when I have to refer a student out to somebody in the community for whatever reason, maybe they have a long term issue, I consider, does that person have experience working with college students? Because some people don't. And it is, it can be different knowing what their needs are because they're different for.
[00:07:06] Speaker C: It's a very unique, like developmental, I mean that's why they've coined it its own developmental terminology. But and it's really changed because when I was right after I earned my doctorate, I was working at the College center, the college Counseling center at the College of New Jersey. And it has really changed. I've been at Rutgers now 20 something years, so just really seeing the evolution and how we as professionals have to adapt a little bit to really understanding some of like the unique perspectives that students are now entering and some of the, you know, really significant challenges and very, I'm always very interested in looking at that data.
You know, kind of where were we in 2010 versus where are we in 2026?
[00:07:51] Speaker B: Well, and when we talk about, you know, when I came up with the topic about being September again and starting a new semester without starting over. Like, when you hear that phrase, what does that mean to you?
[00:08:05] Speaker C: So my first thought when I read that first question, when I hear you say that is a lot of it is such a mindset.
Like, it's, it's a lot of how we think about things and why we think about those things and then our beliefs around them.
And, you know, my first thought was the first word that came to mind, which I also have a child who's going to college next year, so I'm also a mom with two high school kids. But I kept thinking of the word transition.
And you know, this idea that very notable in, you know, teens and kids in college or young adults in college is this idea that like, they should already be somewhere without allowing for this transition time.
[00:08:52] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:08:53] Speaker C: And so it's like you always feel like you're behind, but really what are you behind from? So really just kind to take a pause back. So I guess that's what came to mind. Transitions, mindset, our beliefs around that. The things that we maybe have learned that maybe don't serve us anymore, that may not be accurate maybe were accurate before. And I really see this time as a time when, when like these young adults are allowed to kind of not know.
[00:09:22] Speaker B: Oh, but it causes major anxiety, doesn't it? I mean, they want to. I've talked to several already that are big planners.
They plan everything, you know, you know what I'm talking about. And they, the uncertainty of just not knowing, I guess, where they're going to land, where they're going to live, if they grab, you know, when they graduate, that is really anxiety provoking for them. And just to help them, like kind of step back a little bit, take a little slower is very hard.
[00:09:55] Speaker C: It is. And I think part of our work is helping to teach like that emotional awareness, like emotional intelligence, that being able to sit in the not knowing and be comfortable being uncomfortable. Right. And so some of those things are those things that we have to learn and not necessarily that we've ever been taught. And you know, I think some of those challenges with, well, I won't get into all this society stuff.
[00:10:22] Speaker B: So are we getting ahead of ourselves? We've got so much to talk about. I mean, one of the questions I have is why is there an important psychological difference between beginning a new semester and feeling as though we have to start our entire lives over?
Because, you know, when you were talking a minute ago, I was thinking, I have seen more sophomores now that who get more homesick, like they struggle with the trends. You would think it would be more in the freshman year. And don't get me wrong, I have a few right now who are going through an adjustment because I. They're freshmen and they're new here, but I'm seeing more sophomores. And I don't know.
You know, that question right there. Why isn't an important psychological difference between beginning a new semester and feeling as though they have to start our entire lives over again? Maybe that has something to do with it. I don't know.
[00:11:17] Speaker C: I mean, I think if you look at the data that this particular age group, 18 to 25, the anxiety, anxiety disorders are at such a significant, I mean, summary, like, increasing over 100%.
But I think if we take a look at, like, September, I was. I was thinking about it like New Year's, like, so I. I think that, like, if you think about starting from preschool right all the way up to now, we've kind of been socialized and it's been ingrained that, like, it's September and that's right when we were younger, it's like, get your pencils, have all your sharpened pencils out, and get all your new notebooks. And so, you know, that's a powerful experience. When you think about this idea of this, like, fresh start. And I think with that comes a lot of pressure.
So I think, like, there's these, like, deeply ingrained, like, beliefs or thoughts about that. And then you add in, you know, possibly being away from home. Right. And there's all these changes that happen, like the weather. You start seeing all the back to school stuff, and we get a reaction. I think that's the interesting part. Like, when you see all of that and people talk about that even when you're out of college and you're out of school. So there's still this feeling like, okay, summer's over. Now I have to do all these things, get organized. What do I want this to, you know, this next chapter of my life to look like?
And I think in some ways that can be really powerful because it feels like the starting line. Like there's a line, okay, you know, reset this. Let me do that. But I think that what our brains do is often overwhelm us. You know, our brains don't often think in these small, measurable. One little tiny step forward is still a step forward. And it's sort of like this idea that we have to go and make these giant leaps.
And then I think the challenge with that too, is we often, as humans don't take A moment of pause to, like, honor how far we've come. Like, those sophomores have probably come so far from last year, but we forget that. You know, we just forget, like, wait, do you remember last year when you. Blah, blah, you know, whatever those things are.
So I think sometimes our brain's putting a lot of pressure and we have access to everything in the news, what's going on. People are constantly talking about job forecasting
[00:13:37] Speaker B: and AI simulation to the map overstimulation,
[00:13:41] Speaker C: plus our own, like, internal pressures that we've put on ourselves kind of all accumulating together. And there's something about September that, like, sometimes there's these, like, more extreme beliefs that we should kind of get it quote all together when that's just not how humans work.
[00:13:58] Speaker B: It's just not how it's going to work either. And maybe once people get used to that, they accept that a little more. And that's.
I mean, I'm not doing a show in October, but we are doing a Halloween show.
You know, it's kind of. It will be interesting to learn when they finally settle in a little bit. You know, I'm trying to. I mean, I've worked here for a long time and it's hard to kind of. I've never really thought about when. When the students really kind of settled, settle in because it seems like there's one. I don't want to say crisis, but there's one thing after another because the next thing will be midterms, you know. You know that in October, the next thing will be. We have fall break here at the end of October, then it'll be Thanksgiving. So there's different. There's different, you know, like, I guess, milestones, you know, he's trying to reach.
[00:14:46] Speaker C: I think they're all, like.
They're all aspects of the same thing, you know, until we can take that pause and really work with individuals to learn how to just be and that you don't have to have it solved. There's not always a quick answer that, like, really, that's what we're addressing. And until we can continue to work on those things, which are like a forever work in process, right? And have, like, normalized what's happening for someone to say, hey, listen, most of us don't really got this figured out, you know, like, there's something really powerful in that and you can sit in this and still be okay.
So I think.
[00:15:31] Speaker B: I think. Well, and let me ask you, here at Alabama, I don't teach, but I have friends who do. And I believe There are required classes to help with the transition, you know, of entering college. I think they're like one hour classes. I don't remember the name of them. Catherine, can you remember the name?
But I'm sure Rutgers offers that too, probably to help with that. And maybe this is something that they discuss in these classes. I don't know. I've never, I've never gone and spoken at any of these classes. I don't remember if it, if I have. It's been years.
[00:16:11] Speaker C: I think the more that we can educate and in the, in as many different sort of places, I mean all, all the students need different things. You know, you have, who's coming on a, a sports scholarship who has a lot of pressures at home to do really well to support their family. You have someone coming from, you know, a family who doesn't really, you know, doesn't have as many financial stressors, but maybe they have expectations of what, what success they're expected to do, what success looks like. So it's like presenting this like overall idea that there really isn't any one clear path for anyone and that you're allowed to not know. And you are not only you allowed, it's completely. Makes sense. And you're allowed to also switch courses sometime too. But, you know, but, and, and that's tied to lots of belief systems that are kind of shaking up a little bit.
[00:17:11] Speaker B: Let's take our first break.
I'm a little behind. Sorry, Catherine. We'll take our first break and when we come back, let's talk about the pressure to become a new person. And then let's take an email question if, if that's okay with you. Okay, we'll be right back. You're listening to brain matters on 90.7. The captain,
[00:17:39] Speaker C: Wvuafm Tuscaloosa.
[00:17:42] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show hosts or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:18:20] Speaker B: Hey, you're back listening to brain matters on 90.7 the Capstone. I'm BJ Guenther and we're talking tonight about it being September and starting a new semester without starting over. And my guest is.
Did I Did I introduce you correctly as the director of Rutgers University Behavioral Health Care?
[00:18:41] Speaker C: Well, I'm not the director. I'm the chief psychologist.
[00:18:43] Speaker B: And the chief psychologist, vice president, doctor chief psychologist Dr. Stephanie Marcella. And we've, we've just had a good segment about basically transitioning from, you know, summer, whatever you're doing into starting back in September. But I've got, let me, I'm trying to get to one of the email questions and let's see if we've already talked about it. How can students, this is from somebody listening. How can students prepare for college transition even before stepping onto campus?
[00:19:15] Speaker C: I mean, I think that there's a things that we can do. Right. I think even, I think you start preparing your junior year in some ways, you know, thinking about what might be the good, the best fit for you, where you might want to go, what kind of supports that you need, going to walk around the campus. Right. Like having conversations with like, it's like that kind of separation and individuation process that is really occurring with them, having conversations with family members or what kind of support you need. Like, I'll have different high school students that I've worked with and we'll have make sure that this person has a therapist in that area because that's something that we know is really effective. Make sure if they're on some kind of like psychiatric medications or medical medications, they have a doctor that they can go to.
[00:20:02] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:20:03] Speaker C: You know, getting familiar with the campus
[00:20:06] Speaker B: and the community, too.
[00:20:07] Speaker C: And the community, it's so important and really understanding those things, you know, really being mindful about why are they picking this particular school?
Are they really okay being a plane ride from home or now it's getting real and that's okay. And some kids are and some students aren't. But really having these conversations about, I think ahead of time and not just kind of saving it, making about the real stuff.
[00:20:37] Speaker B: Well, I've got a couple of students right now who, they got a full scholarship here.
They might have only gotten a scholarship here and nowhere else, but maybe, maybe we gave them the best opportunity via scholarship, but they only maybe visited the campus once.
So they get here and they're completely homesick. They might be all the way across the country and they're just lost, you know.
And so it would be nice to be able to prepare sooner than just, oh, I'm going to take this scholarship and I'm just going to go to this school and I'll be okay because I think they think they'll adjust, but they don't really anticipate how difficult that might be.
Yeah.
[00:21:26] Speaker C: And, you know, maybe they don't have the money to come back and forth, which I understand, but they have virtual tours. You can explore the area.
You know, what is the town? What are things that are important to you?
I think the other thing is, like, this idea now with, like, social media and technology that, like, you're, like, where you. You're where you grew up, where you live is, like, so accessible, and you're going onto social media and you're seeing what, you know, these people are doing in these areas that you usually do, and your family's getting together and you're not a part of this. And I think sometimes, like, you know, that can be.
Make it a little bit harder, too.
So until you can, like, really stick with it to figure out what are the things that I need to have that sense of community here, you know, do I play a sport? And I want to make sure that I'm connected to still play that sport. Is that what brings me joy? Is that what, you know, makes me feel connected or.
[00:22:19] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:20] Speaker C: How do you kind of keep home with you, but also, like, enough, like, far enough away that you can also get yourself okay in your new environment.
[00:22:31] Speaker B: Yeah. And feel more independent and more competent. Not as socially anxious, too. You know, I listed what some students want to change or want to do better.
You know, when they come back, like, I don't want to procrastinate. I want to make more friends. And they have. Some students have that long list of what they want to change.
You know, why do we tend to put so much pressure, you know, on a new beginning?
[00:23:00] Speaker C: I think.
[00:23:03] Speaker B: Is that a good question?
[00:23:04] Speaker C: Part of it is, like, there's a.
Like, I think we get excited in some ways. Right. Like, I think we feel optimistic. Right. So sometimes we think, like, I'm going to finally get it all together. Right. Like perfectionists. As if. Right. We set these, like, all or nothing kinds of thoughts. And I think something about that is motivating. It's just like New Year's. Like, I'm going to, you know, eat better every day. I'm going to drink a gallon of water. I'm going to do all these things. And I think the problem is that is sometimes, like, we can think really big about all this person and all these things we want to do, but then when it actually comes to the steps, like the little small things that we have to do to get there, like, it's not really reasonable. So then if you put it all together, like, and there's also something about saying I want to get it all together that is also somehow saying the opposite. That as if maybe something is wrong with us now.
[00:23:59] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:24:00] Speaker C: So there's like so many different things happening, but I think like for students, like, this is like they're in this like developmental place where they're working towards all these academic goals. They're trying to figure out like my relationships, who am I independence, where am I going to work, financial. Like there's so much loaded into the fresh start, so much more than like New Year's Day when you know you're gonna do these four things for your health. So I wonder like if like students listening can just think about like, how do you make.
Like it's good that you have the motivation, but how do you just make the starting point a little smaller?
So like, what's one thing? I always have people say, like, what's one thing? I need to take care of myself today. And so maybe we can. And it could be something simple, like I need a 10 minute walk. It could be like, what's one thing I want to do consistently this week?
You know, so, so like take out this idea that you have to like reinvent everything in two weeks.
[00:24:57] Speaker B: And they do, you know, they say this and I think it comes from a place of maybe even. And we haven't talked about parents yet, so let's get, let's get to that.
It may be parental pressure too, but I've had students who, they feel like they failed at something, you know, like the previous year, or it might be something really big. Maybe they really did fail a class or their study habits were just never improved from high school. And so they come in starting off with that, you know. But talk about parents, like how much do parents, I mean, you're about to be a parent of a college student. You know, how much pressure do parents put on kids, I guess to start over if something has gone wrong the year before, let's say it like that.
[00:25:57] Speaker C: I mean, I think it depends on the parents level of self, their own self awareness.
I think we unconsciously, subconsciously put a lot of our stuff on our children, maybe things that we wish we did, you know, the lessons we want them to learn.
It comes from a good place that we want them to learn because we already learned it. And we don't want to have to see them go through that disappointment, that frustration. And I think the more that like parents and caregivers can really just focus on ourselves and try to watch what we're putting on our students. I mean, they're so. The kids. Like, I have two kids who are night and day.
[00:26:35] Speaker B: They are.
[00:26:35] Speaker C: They need two totally different things. And I've had to, like, really adapt my parenting style with both of them. So, you know, a lot of psychologists always say you do. Nobody gets the same parent because it's the truth.
[00:26:49] Speaker B: It's true.
[00:26:50] Speaker C: It is. And they need a different parent. So I think we can't.
As if the students listening to this can't control, obviously, what kinds of pressures their parents do or do put on them. What they can do is really learn and be mindful about how that has influenced them today.
And what of that do they want to take? And what of that do they want to say, hey, maybe came from a good place, but it's not serving me right now? So how do they really understand that?
That's the part that we can really empower them to do.
[00:27:22] Speaker B: That's hard.
[00:27:23] Speaker C: Yeah.
And all this is a process.
So, you know, we talk about these, like, the three of us are talking about these almost like simple solutions. But they're simple in theory, they're not in practice. And so, you know, I was thinking of this idea of, like, how do we give ourselves some grace to say, I'm in process, you know, like, I don't have to have this all figured out.
[00:27:45] Speaker B: Well, and model that for your child, too, right?
[00:27:48] Speaker C: Yes, absolutely.
Yeah. We'll do another podcast for parents.
[00:27:52] Speaker B: Oh, two or three, Part one, Two and three.
[00:27:56] Speaker C: I would love to.
[00:27:58] Speaker B: When does a healthy.
I have several students who are perfectionists. When does a healthy desire for growth cross the line into perfectionism or, you know, unrealistic expectations?
[00:28:15] Speaker C: Well, I mean, I think that's a. A good question.
[00:28:19] Speaker B: Million dollar question, right?
[00:28:21] Speaker C: I. I mean, I think a lot of us really struggle with that. Right. And so when we think about, like, all of us being perfectionistic, I think when we have the idea that somehow there's an end point to this and that, like, we really, like, if we were to just, like, try harder, like, we could get there.
[00:28:39] Speaker B: Right.
[00:28:39] Speaker C: So. So, like, any progress you see along the way, you may not even acknowledge because you just have this idea in your head that, like, we want to have goals because. But goals leave room for being human. Like, we are all human.
And I think that's when we cross the line, when we have an expectation of ourself that we wouldn't have. I always say this as it's so important of our best friend.
So if we are making, like, healthy changes in. We have to have flexibility.
[00:29:09] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:29:10] Speaker C: So like for example, I, I am pretty good with like working out, but yesterday I wanted to sleep in a little and I didn't. I drink a gallon of water every day. Yesterday I had like two pieces of cake. That's okay. So I'm not, what I'm not going to do is beat myself up and tell myself I'm horrible, I'm awful. Because that's what the brain sometimes does. That's what we sometimes do.
[00:29:31] Speaker B: Especially if you're programmed to be like perfectionistic. It's very hard. I was talking to a student today and he admitted he's perfectionist graduate stud.
And I asked him, I said, you know, anything I'm going to suggest to you, you're going to see that as less than or failure. And he's like, you are right. So we've got to find some kind of happy medium, something that he can process and do, you know, and not beat himself up like you said.
[00:29:59] Speaker C: Yeah. I mean I think important for, for people to look at and students to look at is like, where did you learn that?
[00:30:06] Speaker B: I know.
[00:30:06] Speaker C: Who taught you that? Where did that come from? And then the other thing you can do if we're looking at like I always talk about like all our common styles of thinking. So those like extreme ways of thinking, all or nothing. Catastrophizing, inaccurate self blame.
[00:30:21] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:30:22] Speaker C: Once you, once you catch yourself having one of those thoughts. So I should, I need you know for a fact that it is not 100 accurate, that it is probably based on old stuff, probably based on feelings and not based on facts. And so we can work to have more fact based balance thoughts rather than extreme thoughts that aren't based in things that would stand up in the court of law if we look at it like that. And yet we're beating ourselves up for it. So you know, the fact that that student that could recognize that is great. That's the first step.
[00:30:57] Speaker B: Let's take our next break. We've got another break coming up and then I've got several more email questions. But let's talk about what students can actually do.
[00:31:07] Speaker C: Okay?
[00:31:07] Speaker B: Sound good? We'll be right back. You're listening to brain matters on 90.7. The capstone.
[00:31:23] Speaker C: Wvuafm Tuscaloosa.
[00:31:25] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 3483863, if you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:32:03] Speaker B: Hey, you're back listening to brain matters on 90.7, the capstone. I'm Dr. B.J. guenther. We're talking tonight about starting over and it's being September.
And before I forget, I want to give out our email in case you are listening and you have showtopic ideas and I would love to hear those. And the email is brain mattersradiovuafm.ua.edu. and like I said at the beginning of the show, just nothing is, no topic is off limits. And I love to get some feedback about what we need to be talking about. The trends in college mental health are always changing. But tonight My guest is Dr. Stephanie Marcello. And Dr. Marcello is a clinical psychologist at Rutgers University. And we've been talking about transitioning from basically summer to starting school. Whether you're a freshman or whether you're a senior. Coming back doesn't necessarily mean you have to completely start over and forget all the stuff you've learned. I've got an email question, Dr. Marcella. And this is right into what I ended up with before we went into the break. What can students actually do? What would be your 5 go to coping strategies to manage stress and anxiety. And they say roll tide, so.
Oh, wow.
[00:33:23] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:33:23] Speaker B: That's a hard one.
[00:33:24] Speaker C: You know, I honestly one of the most predictable, one of the most predictable things we can understand how, how someone is doing is sleep. Oh, sleep, yes, sleep, sleep.
And that looks very different, right? Who you're sharing a room with, who's snoring, who's a late night person, blah, blah, blah, all those things.
But I would say sleep, I would say all of these are going to come back to small little actionable items that we can do every day that add up to be really big things. Sleep, I would say, you know, excuse
[00:34:00] Speaker B: me before I, I forget, I tell students and you'll, I think you'll agree with this.
I think we have more students who walk in here who come in and make an appointment because they have their sleep is not regulated. Now, we might end up talking about a lot more. Don't get me wrong, but you're right, sleep will get somebody in here quicker than anything sometimes because when you can't regulate your sleep, you don't know what to do. And it happens a lot with college students. So thank you for that, yeah.
[00:34:29] Speaker C: And when you have really high anxiety, your anxiety is more. Anxiety is not bad. But when anxiety is to the point that it's interfering with things like sleep, we really want to address that. So feelings are just information your body's giving you. You know, so a lot of times sleep is related to anxiety and stress and that worrying. And so that's one of the biggest things I would say, what we're feeding ourselves, what you're eating, what you're drinking, who you're connected. Connection is protection. Right? So who you're connecting with, do you feel connected? They feel like your people. Do you feel safe with them?
Exercise is wonderful. Gives you that great dopamine boost, you know, in a really healthy way. Good for the mind, body. And I would say, you know, really watching.
That would be my fifth one, is being mindful of how you speak to yourself.
You know, if, if you. Oh gosh, there's so many. We can talk about social media and
[00:35:23] Speaker B: all that, but I'll leave it at that.
[00:35:25] Speaker C: I know, but I'll leave that of pay attention to how you talk to yourself because if someone is talking to themselves, really nasty, eventually you start to believe it. And eventually you put on your glasses and you start to see everything through that lens of this negative self image of the world. Maybe of yourself, maybe of others. And again, that may be something that is not accurate. It may just be based in these few experiences that were really hard and stressful that now are creating that whole like vision field for you of everything else. You may be missing a lot of beautiful things. Don't forget about gratitude.
[00:36:04] Speaker B: So I keep going daily gratitude.
[00:36:06] Speaker C: Those are my quick ones off the top you mentioned.
[00:36:07] Speaker B: No, those were good. Those were good. And the practical. It's practical. Yeah, you mentioned connection. That is a big one. Because I'm having more students who are lonely. We did a show, I think we did a show last year, maybe this time last year on loneliness. And there's really, I don't know if it's an epidemic or a pandemic, but I believe it's. It's a big deal. And I. You mentioned you doing research and resilience.
I mean, talk a little bit about how that affects, you know, whether or not a student stays at that university. It's a big deal.
[00:36:46] Speaker C: Oh, it's one of the most defining things. Connection is protection.
[00:36:50] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:36:51] Speaker C: Connection is not connection. Being on FaceTime with five of your friends chatting and laughing.
That's fine. Connection of just like scrolling and looking at post and snapping the ceiling and that's not the kind of connection that human beings are hardwired to need.
And if you look at the data, because I'm very into data, if you look at the data from 2010 until 2026, you look at loneliness, you will see that. I mean, rates are like, it's risen like 150%.
[00:37:22] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:37:22] Speaker C: And one of the other things you'll see is less people meeting up.
So less people, especially like this particular agent, especially them in high school, middle school, like getting on your bike and you know, going out to meet your friends and just being silly together, that, that has significantly decreased. And simultaneously the loneliness has increased. So get together with people, leave your room. You know, one of the biggest things, I just have to say this because one of the things is like, we gotta be bored. It's okay to be bored. You're gonna be okay. You know, and so much is that. And I think sometimes, like I would tell, I would say to the students listening is you are bored, you have an uncomfortable feeling. You're maybe feeling alone, lonely. What do you do? You pick up your phone and start scrolling. And so what does that do that prevents you from ever having to learn how to manage those feelings? And you need those feelings because welcome to life. You know, I tell them it's gonna
[00:38:25] Speaker B: get a whole lot harder than now for most people.
[00:38:27] Speaker C: Yeah.
So, you know, put the phone on and look around, allow yourself to be uncomfortable. And what you learn, you start to build your self efficacy that you are okay, you got this. You can do really hard things.
You don't need this avoidance, you know, to avoid those hard feelings. So, and I think that we get this idea, people aren't going to like me. Right. Like there's all kinds of high school and young stuff that we're working out in college that is like bursting.
[00:38:55] Speaker B: You know what's funny to me? And you know this too, because I know you hear it too on your campus. But the trend now is analog, which I think is hilarious.
You know, it's when it started being back in. I just thought it was hilarious. I'm like, what does that look like to these kids who have never been without a cell ph phone? Right. You know, this generation, they haven't.
[00:39:18] Speaker C: It was 2010 when the first smart iPhone was introduced, which is where all the data started not going trending in the direction correlationally. Right. That we really wanted to for creating.
[00:39:33] Speaker B: Let me. This, this. I'm looking at the next question and we've already kind of talked about this, the tips. But somebody asked tips for helping a Student adjust when after five weeks of being on campus, they are convinced they've made the wrong college choice, they deny feeling homesick. That's interesting because I'm careful about using that word, homesick because it connotes to some people, it connotes some kind of, like, failure or some kind of weakness.
So I'm careful to use that. I use adjustment.
But that's interesting because I mentioned, you know, in the first segment, I mentioned having a student who was just coming here because of the scholarship and thought this, you know, Alabama might be the wrong choice for them.
What.
[00:40:24] Speaker A: Do you.
[00:40:24] Speaker B: Do you have that at all at Rutgers? Oh, yeah.
What do you say to that?
[00:40:30] Speaker C: I think we. So I think we have it everywhere because homesickness adjustment is a normal part of the process.
So this idea that, like, human beings should not have any of these uncomfortable transition time or anything is really setting people up for unrealistic. Now, some people are going to go and, you know, they're going to. There's no, like, right or wrong amount of time for what it takes. But what I would say is don't keep it inside.
[00:40:57] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:40:57] Speaker C: Talk to someone.
Go to the guidance counselor. Talk to your best friend. Don't keep things bottled up inside. That's one of the worst things we can do because it will take on its own life inside of your mind. I mean, our minds can sometimes be the scariest places for all of us to be. And so once you go down that, like, anxiety spiral again, that's when those lenses come on and you might start interpreting things in such a negative way.
[00:41:24] Speaker B: This may sound crazy, but this is the. I'm probably going to get fired for saying this, but, oh, well, they told me, just don't cuss and don't say commercial on this radio show. So I haven't done that.
But I usually talk to them and give them. I feel like it gives them an out and some relief to talk about. Where did you want to go? What would have been your first preference? Is it out of the question to transfer? You know, and then maybe say, give them a date of. Let's reevaluate it at this time and think seriously about, you know, something else you can do. And immediately you can see the relief because nobody else is really doing that. And I think even though their parents sometimes are like, you know, this is the only way you're going to be able to go to college. This is the only way we can afford, you know, for you to go to college for some kids and to be able to help them see that there may be another way if you're so unhappy. You know, it's a fine line between doing that in the first couple of weeks because you want to give them a chance to try to adjust. You know that.
[00:42:30] Speaker C: Yeah. And I think there's goodness of fitness. Right. And so, like, I think what that do, like giving them the date, give it until this time and let's reevaluate. That also gives you time to say, okay, really, maybe this really isn't the best fit or. And what else is going on?
[00:42:45] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:42:45] Speaker C: You know, what is it that they're not? They either just sitting in their room all day or, you know, their roommate isn't someone that they would want to be roommates with or they're random about
[00:42:56] Speaker B: their classes and then what they call them randos, random roommates.
Hey, let's take our last break and when we come back, let's talk about when to ask for help, when you should ask for help for people listening that may need it. We'll be right back. You're listening to brain matters on 90.7 the capstone.
[00:43:22] Speaker C: Wvuafm Tuscaloosa.
[00:43:25] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call not or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:44:03] Speaker B: Hey, you're back listening to brain matters on 90.7 the Capstone. I'm BJ Guenther and we're talking tonight about start not starting over at September, but not having to start over even though it's the beginning of the semester. And we just ended up talking about some tips and especially with stress and sleep. We touched on that a little bit. But My guest is Dr. Stephanie Marcello. She is clinical psychologist at Rutgers University, one of the vice president. What's your title?
[00:44:36] Speaker C: Vice president of the assistant vice president of education.
[00:44:41] Speaker B: Got it. And I want to give you credit because I appreciate it. You're on the Eastern time zone, so it's an hour later for you. So I appreciate you being on the show a little bit later.
[00:44:52] Speaker C: I'm happy. And Matt, all this, this conversations matter. They're important.
[00:44:56] Speaker B: Oh, it does. And, and that comes to my next, you know, my next question Is some degree of stress, of course, is normal during the beginning of the semester. We've talked about that. But what are some of the signs that a student needs to pay attention to and who's experiencing that may be more.
More than just normal stress and adjustment, and they might need to reach out for help.
[00:45:18] Speaker C: I mean, I think one of the biggest things is, like, changes in how they typically behave, how they're typically feeling. Right. So if they're hearing friends, parents, or someone being like, you just don't seem like yourself.
[00:45:29] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:45:29] Speaker C: So, you know, they're not going to class, they're missing. They're isolating themselves. You know, they haven't eaten dinner, any meal with anybody all week. So they're wanting to sleep more. They can't sleep, or they're not eating or they're overeating. So also, if they're noticing that they're having, like, panic attacks or they're drinking, you know, using substances, like, more as a way to, like, cope with things.
And I think if we start to see those things even before they get to that, when you're noticing, like, you're just kind of not yourself, and it doesn't seem to be getting better, it seems to maybe be getting a little worse.
[00:46:09] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:46:10] Speaker C: Or you're kind of concerned. Like, that's when we really want to talk to someone.
[00:46:14] Speaker B: Why do you think.
Why do you think it's difficult? First, there's a little bit of a delay on my end. Sorry.
[00:46:21] Speaker C: Oh, no, it's fine.
[00:46:21] Speaker B: Why do you think it's difficult for students to sometimes ask for help, especially when they're just getting here as freshmen?
[00:46:29] Speaker C: Well, I think. I mean, we were. We've been talking a lot today about what are the beliefs that we've been taught in our families of origin and our communities around what asking for help means.
I mean, I see it as one of the biggest strengths ever. And I always told my kids, if you need to talk to someone, you go to the guidance counselor. In the same way, if you need a band Aid or you need some Tylenol, you go see the nurse. It's the same thing. But I think especially at this age, maybe they may. So there's that. And that's huge. Right. Maybe they may be doing that comparison. Like, well, everyone else seems okay. What's wrong with me?
Maybe people in their life are kind of minimizing it or they have whatever those belief systems that they have that have been, you know, ingrained in them.
[00:47:15] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:47:15] Speaker C: And I. I would love for students listening to this call to see Asking for help as a strength, and think about it like, as a skill, it's not a weakness, it's a skill. Because to me, asking for help shows a level of self awareness that we really equate to emotional intelligence.
So that's, to me, that's such a strength because all the research on emotional intelligence and how essential it is in professional and personal development is so important. And that is one of the biggest factors in emotional intelligence is self awareness.
[00:47:48] Speaker B: Well, and they do so much, you know, students do so much for their academic health. That's the way I look at it. Like, you do everything for your academic health.
So how is this any different?
Because if you don't take care of your mental health and get some relief from stress and anxiety, your academic health will suffer.
[00:48:11] Speaker C: Yep, absolutely.
You know, and that's the other. We, we are. We can't. We are one whole being. And I think sometimes in society we focus so much on the cognitive part, we focus on the intellectual part, and we forget that there's this whole body connected to us, us. And we are but like, you know, one being. So anything that's going to happen to us physically is going to impact us emotionally and and spiritually and in all those other ways.
[00:48:39] Speaker B: So what about in closing, what's like besides counseling is not a weakness, you know, going to the counseling. What is one small thing? If you were sitting down with a student right now, who's listening? What's one small thing that they could do this week to not. Not reinvent themselves, I guess is what I'm trying to say, but simply make a decision.
[00:49:06] Speaker C: Having, like a crisis or a challenge.
Say that again in terms of them having like a crisis or like a challenge.
[00:49:15] Speaker B: Yeah. Or thinking that they need to reinvent themselves.
[00:49:18] Speaker C: 1. Pick one small step, one thing. What is one thing that I can do differently this week? You know, maybe it's get ahead, create.
Get ahead of this one class, get their reading, write everything down that they have to do.
You know, go for a walk. Like just one thing.
So we want to do like preventative care too, you know, like, maybe even addressing some of their, like, other areas of their health. Like, they don't. You don't have to wait till everything feels like, quote a message.
[00:49:49] Speaker B: Yeah. And you're a professor, you're a teacher, you're an instructor. You understand? I think students are scared a lot of times to go and talk to their professors. I feel like I'm all the time encouraging them to talk to your professor, you know, and I think that would most Professors are understanding and try. I mean, that's why you do. What you do, you know, is try to help students. But. But if they can get over that hurdle and maybe even open up to that professor and explain, you know, I'm struggling. I'm struggling with adjusting here.
I think they would get more empathy and compassion than they. They'd be surprised.
[00:50:31] Speaker C: Yeah. I have many students reach out to me every semester. Some even in the beginning.
[00:50:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Really give me a heads up of
[00:50:38] Speaker C: everything that they have going on. Some.
And. And I always offer.
I. I have my office hour. I'm like, we don't have to talk about. It's not just about this class. I'm here for you during this time. Come in. You want to talk about the field. You want to talk about your career, you want to talk about absolutely anything. A book you're reading, you know, come in and let's have that conversation. So I think, you know, really inviting and engaging with students so that they.
[00:51:03] Speaker B: Connecting.
[00:51:04] Speaker C: They can even connect.
[00:51:05] Speaker B: Even connecting with staff and, you know, instructors, not just with other students.
[00:51:11] Speaker C: Right. Absolutely. Oh, my gosh. Faculty can be one of the. The best people to talk to. I mean, they're there. You know, we really want to create, like, this whole community.
Like, it's.
[00:51:21] Speaker B: Not.
[00:51:21] Speaker C: Everybody needs to go see a therapist.
And I mean, although. Well, that's up for. Maybe. But for the most part, you know what I mean?
[00:51:30] Speaker B: There's other.
[00:51:30] Speaker C: It's not always a therapist that you need. You know, it may be that you have this great faculty member that you can talk to or your RM Mentor.
A mentor.
[00:51:40] Speaker B: Right.
[00:51:40] Speaker C: Or, you know, there's so many people around campus and helping. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable, put yourself out there a little bit. So that first call, or at least the second or third call isn't always to back an old life, that we're creating those supports here.
[00:51:56] Speaker B: And it. You know, it's. It's a form of maturity, too.
[00:52:00] Speaker C: It is. Yeah.
[00:52:01] Speaker B: That's. That's the big deal. Hey, thank you so much. This hour has gone by fast.
I appreciate it. Thank you so much for being on the show and helping us think a little bit differently about the topic. The transitioning back into school. This is hard for a lot of people, and hopefully people who are listening will take heart and maybe even call us here at the counseling center or reach out to an instructor. I think that'd be very important.
[00:52:26] Speaker C: I think that would be great.
And also just the last thing to say, like, really normalizing for students that. That, like, we're always all in transition, you know, I know I am. I know you are. I'm adapting to having a kid who's going to be in college next year. That creates a whole other transition. And I'm kind of preparing for it this year by allowing myself to feel it when it comes up and then, and then moving forward, you know, not staying in it, feeling it, and then moving forward and maybe being grateful. You're having a moment of gratitude, which sounds so simple. But it does work.
[00:52:57] Speaker B: It does work. And most of the time when you're forced to change something, it turns out better or good or really good.
If you think about it in your life, think about it.
[00:53:07] Speaker C: That is true. So, you know, they can do really hard things.
I'll get through this, but you don't have to do it alone.
[00:53:15] Speaker B: Good advice. Good advice. Thank you so much, Dr. Marcello. I appreciate it.
And don't forget, our shows are recorded and podcasted so you can listen to them on Apple and on Spotify. Just type in Brain Matters and you'll hear this show and stuff. Some of our past shows. You can also go to the Counseling center website at counseling ua Edu. I'd like to thank a few people who make the show possible. Dr. Greg Vanderwaal, he's our executive director here at the Counseling Center. Of course, my producer and my colleague Katherine Howell, my colleagues here at the Counseling center, and Gareth Garner, who edits our shows every week. He's wonderful. The WVUA staff and of course, my guest tonight, Dr. Stephanie Marcello. Join us next week. We're going about to talk talk next week about Suicide Awareness Week that's coming up and I want to give some of the highlights and we're going to have the coordinator for the Suicide Awareness Week here on campus. And that's. That should be interesting. So join us next week, same time, same place. Thanks again for listening. Good night.
[00:54:25] Speaker A: This show was not intended as a substitute for professional counseling. Further, the views, opinions and conclusions expressed by the show hosts or their guests are their own and not necessarily those of the University of Alabama, its officers or trustees. Any views, opinions or conclusions shared on the show do not create a relationship between the host or any guest and any listener, and such a relationship should never be inferred. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, please contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
