Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation please call 911 or go to your nearest emerg.
[00:00:42] Speaker B: It's 6 o' clock and time again for Brain Matters, the official radio show of the UA Counseling Center. We are broadcasting from the campus of the University of Alabama. Good evening. My name is Dr. BJ Gunther and I'm the host of the show along with my colleague and producer Kathryn Howell. And in case you don't know, this show is about mental and physical health issues that affect college students and in particular so you can listen to us each Tuesday night at 6pm on 90.7 FM or you can listen online at WVUAFM UA. Edu. You can also download several apps and my favorite is my tuner radio app. And just type in WBUAFM 90.7.
And don't forget this is I think this is our fourth show. Is this our third show or our fourth show? Katherine Third. Third. Oh my goodness.
For the semester we only do shows in the fall and in the sp we don't do any shows in the summer, so I always ask listeners for ideas for topics for upcoming shows. I've almost got everything kind of scheduled out for the fall, but I still like to keep a running list of what people want to hear. We've done I mean, I've done this show since 2013. It just seems like forever ago and I feel like we covered every topic. But there's always trends in college mental health and I like to be on the cusp of what kids are talking about or what's happening. So if you're listening and you want to send me ideas for show topics, send those to me via email@brain mattersradiobuafm ua edu and katherine will help me try to remember to give the give that email address out periodically throughout the show. But tonight I'm excited about this show because I think it's very important at the beginning of the school year to talk about this topic.
And tonight is one that resonates with everyone. Wrestling through adversity. Life inevitably throws challenges our way, and how we respond can shape not only our future, but also who we become in the process. Joining me tonight is Dr. Christine Silverstein, a respected researcher, coach, author, you name it, who has dedicated her career to helping people transform struggles into strength. She brings both professional expertise and personal insight into how we can navigate life's tough, toughest moments with resilience, hope and purpose. So whether you're facing setbacks in school, work, relationships, or health, today's conversation is for you. Stay with us as we explore what it really means to wrestle through adversity and come out stronger on the other side. Thank you so much for being on the show, Dr. Silverstein.
[00:03:25] Speaker C: You're very welcome.
[00:03:26] Speaker B: It's a very long introduction.
[00:03:30] Speaker C: That's okay. I wanted to come on this stage.
[00:03:33] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I wanted to cover everything because the, the topic of resiliency is one that we always try to start with the school year when we go out and talk to classes or if we're at tabling events like what we call get on Board day here at the University of Alabama, where students can come and talk to us at the counseling center or other organizations to be involved in. But resiliency to me is something that can be taught and I know you're going to talk more about this, but it's also something that can cause a lot of problems in a college student's life if they don't build and work on that. Do you agree?
[00:04:15] Speaker C: Oh, yes, definitely. With all the pressures you have in college, especially these days, challenge upon challenge from the day you start to the day you finish and then afterwards when you're looking for a job.
So it's very important.
[00:04:31] Speaker B: It's very important what you know, I told a little bit about your background, but not a whole lot. So will you give the listeners some insight into your background and what inspired you to focus on this topic, resiliency and overcoming adversity?
[00:04:48] Speaker C: Well, my background is, and I'm peak performance coach, but I'm also a registered nurse. I've been a registered nurse since the age of 19 and I've incorporated all my experience as a nurse into my program, peak performance coaching. I'm also a clinical hypnotherapist. I teach self hypnosis so you can access the power of your own mind that's innate within you.
And in addition to that, and I included this in my book, I'm also a published historian, so I give a background in my book about the mental health issues dating back many centuries, what happened to people who had mental illness, how they were chained to walls, and how we've progressed somewhat in a positive direction. But we still have challenges with our mental health care system.
So that's my background and I specialize in working with children, teens and young adults. Although I also work with adults in some of my programs. I have a program called Operation Heal and that's where my nursing backgrounds, medical, surgical nursing comes in. So I can help people overcome challenges with surgery, health issues. And also I work with a lot of athletes. So it comes in handy to know this to help them so they can get through the season and still win.
[00:06:13] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:06:13] Speaker C: It's very important that.
[00:06:15] Speaker B: That's. Wow. That's a lot of experience throughout the years. I'm still stuck on. You got your RN at 19.
That's amazing. What was your specialty in nursing? I know you mentioned surgical nursing, but what was your specialty and what's been your favorite population to work with? Is it athletes?
[00:06:34] Speaker C: Well, I love working with athletes, but I also work with performing artists and that's a lot of fun too.
And then to improve your ability to take tests and things like that. So it is oriented towards that SAT grades. And also I work with professionals to help them with their credential exams so they can pass after they've maybe had some failures.
So I love working with teenagers and young adults particularly, and I have worked with many of them. I started my work in 1996, opened my office and have been really working, as I said, with all age groups from nursery schools to the nursing home.
But at the same time, I like to work with young people. They have the most potential. And I don't think in this society that we're really using our natural resources of our young people and we need to have them build resilience in this world where there are high rates of anxiety, depression in our younger people's lives. So that's why I started writing my book. I could not deal with seeing things on TV and wars and gun shootings and high anxiety suicides. And I decided I've been working with this age group for so long and I know how to help them. So that's why I wrote my book.
[00:08:05] Speaker B: I love it. You know, I've been doing this before. I worked here at the counseling center and I've been here 20 plus years.
It felt like therapists didn't want to work with young people. I felt like I had found in my private practice because I've had my private practice before I even started working here.
I kind of found a niche because people really, they were. I don't know if they were scared of working with younger people because it is, it can be risky you know, because they're very challenging. I'll say it that way, but I loved it. I loved it. And now it feels like more people are, I don't know, gravitating toward that. And when I first started working here at the counseling center, I remember thinking, oh, I feel so old. And I wasn't old, you know, back then. But at some point, I realized that the students, they had skills that could help me.
And my attitude kind of changed toward the students for the positive in that I started using them in a positive way to, like, help me understand.
Whereas before, I felt like I was kind of, I don't know, fighting against them a little bit or had a little bit of a defense going on, just if I'm being honest. And that's changed over the years. So it's refreshing to hear you talk like you're talking about writing this book and featuring really young people, you know, this generation, to be honest.
[00:09:37] Speaker C: Yes. It's all about gen zers and how we treat them and what are their prospects for the future.
[00:09:44] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:09:44] Speaker C: Considering all that they've been through.
And I say since the beginning of the century, in 9 11, that we just commemorated.
[00:09:54] Speaker B: Yeah. The phrase wrestling through adversity, you know, it's a powerful phrase. Does it mean something to you personally?
[00:10:02] Speaker C: Yes, actually, in the beginning, when I first started with the.
The idea of writing the book and finding a title, I spoke to somebody who was very knowledgeable in the publishing industry, and we were talking about, well, what can be the title? And at first we were saying Wrestling with adversity, which a lot of people say, you know, the title of my book that way. But it's not just about wrestling with it. It's wrestling through it to get to the other side and accomplishing your goals. And that's why I said through it. And many times in my life, I had challenges, starting from a young age with dental, going to the dentist. And I explained these in my book. Also, the eye doctor had eye surgery when I was 12.
And so these things always surfaced many years later. And I knew I had to work with them, and I did find ways to work with them. But we all have them. We all have traumas. They could be big traumas, and we think they're really big. And other people would say, no, that's. You should hear my traumas, and they're much worse.
But.
But we need to work with them because they will surface like driftwood floating up to the top, you know, and unexpected times. And also, we might not connect the trauma with what's happening in the present time, we may just dismiss it and not really understand it. And so it's going to pop up over and over again and may block you in your life, present obstacles to you because you're just not aware of it. And then if you are, you might be frightened to look back to that moment because it might have been very traumatic. But if you are aware, then you get scared and you go right back into the, into the deep subconscious unconscious.
[00:11:56] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:11:57] Speaker C: And you never get, never get to resolve it. And so that's what my work is. And it can be very easy, actually, to resolve something because you can use the power of your mind.
And that's my specialty.
[00:12:11] Speaker B: Stop right there. Let's take a break because when we come back, I want to talk to you about your credential of self hypnosis, because that's fascinating to me. We did a show on hypnotherapy. I believe it was in the spring, and there's some challenges with that, too, with this population a little bit. So I want to talk to you about that if you'll hang on. We'll be right back. You're listening to brain matters on 90.7, the capstone WVUAFM Tuscaloosa.
[00:12:50] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:13:29] Speaker B: You're back listening to brain matters on 90.7, the capstone. I'm Dr. B.J. guenther, and we're talking tonight about wrestling through adversity. But before we get back into our topic, I want to mention that if you're listening and you have an idea for an upcoming topic for the show, email it to me at brain mattersradiovuafm.ua.edu. of course, I'll consider using your topic. My guest is Dr. Christine Silverstein. Dr. Silverstein is just fascinating to me because you have a lot of talents, credentials, you know, and it's kind of really all in the helping profession. Nursing author, a coach, behavioral coach, it sounds like, and, and self.
You teach self hypnosis. Can you explain that to the listeners?
[00:14:18] Speaker C: Yes. It's something innate within us and you hear that word and you get all kinds of ideas. And maybe some of it's been sensationalized over the years, even on TV in movies, way back to this movie in the 1930s called Svengali, which my father, when I first started working with this, my father mentioned to me, don't look into my eye or hold your necklace.
[00:14:43] Speaker B: Up, you know, going back and forth.
[00:14:45] Speaker C: But what I work with is this natural process, and it's called self hypnosis for a reason, because all hypnosis is self hypnosis. And you might have been on the stage show and you see these people trying to make you do silly things, Quack like a duck. Well, it's not about that. You wouldn't do it if you didn't want to. You know, the person cannot make you do something you don't want to do.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: Right.
[00:15:08] Speaker C: So I've worked with dismissing the myths. And when I first started, they were really kind of challenging because my first experience when I opened my business in 1996, I had four children. I have four children. And they were having some challenges, you know, teenage challenges. And they were in sports, wrestling, gymnastics, track piano, like everything.
[00:15:35] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:35] Speaker C: And. Yes. And they were having these challenges, teen channel challenges like the ones you were mentioning before, where you thought it would be, you know, hard to work with young people.
[00:15:46] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:15:47] Speaker C: But I knew that they could. They had gifts and talents. I knew that they were able to achieve more than what I was seeing and also not to get into trouble, not to do something reckless. So they needed guidance. But I wanted them to learn how to help themselves.
So I decided, I try to go to this psychologist at first, and he told me that I was the one who needed the therapy. So I decided no. To go out. Yes.
[00:16:18] Speaker B: So you fired him.
[00:16:21] Speaker C: What to do? And I had experience with using self hypnosis when I was having challenges with fertility many years earlier.
And also I was. I had three miscarriages.
The doctor wanted to give me this very toxic drug. This specialist I went to, it's called des. Diethylsilbestrel, on this visit. And he. He told me, you have to take this if you ever want to have a baby to hold in your arms.
[00:16:54] Speaker B: Oh, my.
[00:16:55] Speaker C: I knew as a nurse that it was toxic and that even though had been used for 30 years, that it was now showing that was causing cancer in the offspring and also in the woman.
So I took that prescription out of the office and I ripped it up and threw it in the garbage. Right.
And I learned meditation, transcendental meditation and self hypnosis. And that's what saved me. I began to have this expectant mind. And I was able to have four children after I had another miscarriage. Four miscarriages in total. And four children were healthy children. So I credit that. And also going to biofeedback. When I had cesarean sections in, the anesthesia didn't work. So I had to help myself through that as well to get through the surgeries without general anesthesia. So. So I know that these techniques work. They're innate within you. And you have this skill even when you're a little. And use your imagination. So it's all within you and what you want and how you can use this great gift. I think it's God given, so you accomplish your goals. And that's what I present in my book. I have these techniques in my book that you can follow. And it's so simple. I teach them to kids in kindergarten.
[00:18:09] Speaker B: Wow.
I feel like your credibility and leverage just went up 100% by what you just shared because. And I don't know how much you share in the book because it feels like gets more powerful when you're able to say, this is how I did it. And it worked for me. So I know it can work for you, you know, And I know there are skeptics because when I had my guest on back in the Spring, we talked about that a little bit with hypnotherapy is. There are major skeptics. You know, people are like, oh, yeah, whatever, you know. But with you, you actually can talk about your personal experience.
[00:18:50] Speaker C: Yes, definitely. Well, I wouldn't present something that I didn't believe in. And I know I've accomplished, you know, many things. Success. Like we were talking before about. Well, what kinds of experiences did you have that you used in the book? And I spoke about this experience at the dental office when I was eight years old. Yes. I had to go to the dentist by myself. Right. And I was petrified of the dentist and what he would do. He would sometimes would pull my teeth or he would drill them.
And one day the assistant took me into the dentist office, the private office, and said, your mom didn't pay the bill, so don't come back until she does. We had five children in my family. My parents both worked two jobs. Right.
So anyway, I got petrified of this dentist and I went to him for most of my childhood.
So this was a big issue when I became a teenager. And I had dental challenges. Real problems.
[00:19:52] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:19:52] Speaker C: Many teeth pulled as a result of this dentist who didn't Do a very good job. So then it was challenging to go to the dentist after that, all the way up to my adulthood, many years later. But I figured out a way to handle it. I got over that because one day I was in having some work done on my. On the bridges, on my teeth, and the dentist said, you know, Christine, you're. You're petite. And I gave you as much anesthesia as I can give you, so you'll just have to, you know, bridge your teeth or whatever.
[00:20:28] Speaker B: Literally.
[00:20:30] Speaker C: Yes.
So I said to him, it's okay, doctor. I'll just go into the zone, you know, using.
[00:20:37] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:20:37] Speaker C: And so I went into the zone, and I had this experience where I saw myself literally graduating with my doctorate from Columbia University, right? I was on the stage getting my diploma.
And so when he finished the work, he said, so, Christine, how are you? I said, oh, I am so great.
[00:20:59] Speaker B: I just graduated Columbia University.
[00:21:02] Speaker C: And he said, what? How you teach? They're fine. They're fine. And so I always use that. And, you know, I kept that vision in my mind's eye, and I graduated four years later with honors.
[00:21:15] Speaker B: Stop it.
That's cool. I mean, it takes training, though. You know, it takes practice to do that. It almost sounds like a dissociation almost. You know, like you go into a trance a little bit. And I've really never heard many students talk about their capability to do that.
You said you have used this technique, you know, with kindergarteners, so I know it will work.
[00:21:40] Speaker C: Imaginations are very powerful stage. But ask anybody who's an athlete, and you'll find a different answer.
[00:21:50] Speaker B: No.
[00:21:51] Speaker C: Right, because they go into the zone, and that's why I call it that.
[00:21:54] Speaker B: You sure do.
[00:21:54] Speaker C: Right? So, you know, you can do anything you want. You can swing the racket as slowly as you want, the tennis racket, and ace the serve. And I work with a lot of wrestlers, and I. I've used these techniques for many years, and they get to win because I showed them what to do in the zone. They. It's the sub. It's all subconscious where your skills are stored. All you need to know is how to access it. And it's very simple. With breathing, with mental rehearsal, which is what I used in the dental office. I saw myself, felt myself, heard myself getting my diploma, my doctorate. And so it becomes reality when you see it. And I kept the picture in my mind's eye for four years until I graduated, so it's very strong.
[00:22:43] Speaker B: How do you maintain hope and perspective, though? Like, you know, in the middle of a tough season before you know how it's going to turn out.
[00:22:55] Speaker C: Well, that's the idea. You need to have that vision so that it will turn out. So no matter what's going on, you know, I could have sat in a dental chair and said, oh, this is going to hurt. It really hurts, you know, And I couldn't foresee the future of it, except that it would be painful. But how I work is usually when people come to me, say, for a sport, they don't envision themselves as being champions.
[00:23:21] Speaker B: They.
[00:23:22] Speaker C: That's why we're coming, right? I have to show them what to do.
So. And there's also a fear. So you could have the fear of success as much as you can have the fear of failure. But people, most people think, oh, I'm just afraid I'm going to lose. But sometimes, especially these days, when children start the sports activity at a very early age, like 5 years old, they're on the wrestling mat or, you know, playing a sport.
By the time they get to be teenagers, they're heading towards burnout because nobody taught them what to do.
[00:23:59] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, right. So I see it all the time.
[00:24:02] Speaker C: They didn't teach them how to be a success.
And so I had an occasion recently, it was the end of last wrestling season when a student came in. He was 17, and he had this experience on the mat where he was in a big tournament. I mean, there are, like thousands of people there.
And he had this opponent who was.
Everybody said he was going to be the winner, Right? And so my client. Well, he wasn't my client then until afterwards. But he went into the match and he focused and he scored a takedown right at the beginning of the match.
And he was so surprised he did the takedown that afterwards he didn't know what to do.
So he froze. Literally. He went into fight or flight response.
[00:24:53] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:24:54] Speaker C: He couldn't stand up on his legs. They were weak. He couldn't breathe. And this is a typical reaction.
That's the autonomic nervous system.
[00:25:04] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:25:05] Speaker C: HPA axis.
So. So after that, he lost. He lost the match.
And he came to my office because his parents brought him and he was having some challenges, like teen challenges. He went to prom and he had a little bit to drink, and his parents found out and things like, they had a car, a car accident. He just got his license and the person whose car he hit only spoke Spanish, so he just left the scene. So he got in trouble, you know. So he's sitting there in my office and he's looking down his Parents saying, and you did this and you did that. And you know, and he did know what to do.
So, so he came into my inner office and I said, so what's up with this? And he said, you know, I said, so what about that match? He said, well, you know, I got scared and this is how I felt. And nobody acknowledged it. Everybody was saying he should have won, he should have won because he, he's a champion, right? So he said, but the thing is, I think I learned more from that match. You know, I learned he had insight into it. I work with him to show him, okay, this is the first step of self hypnosis, taking these deep breaths and I showed him what to do. And so we spent some time with that and he actually felt better when he left. And then he went out shortly after that to a tournament. And he did really well using this technique. He helped the team to win, you know, a championship and he did well.
So he came back some months later for second session, which is mental rehearsal like I did in the dental office.
And he's, he's very visual. A lot of athletes are visual and also highly kinesthetic. Their sense of touch is highly developed. So anyway, you see yourself, feel yourself, hear yourself doing your wrestling moves. And also I work with something called plans of action. So you can review every single plan A and all three positions on the map, plan B, plan C so that you know exactly what you'll do. What's your preferred plan A? Plan B. Alternate plan C is the element of surprise. So I worked him up with that. Then we did the mental rehearsals for that. So he came back a month later, he went to a summer tournament and I called his mom to see how he was doing and she said, he just won this big tournament. He was so happy because he learned this technique. He said, I see everything. I see when he walked, he walked out of my office. He couldn't wait to get to his three hour practice to try it out.
So it's hysterical, right? So he did very well. He won the tournament. He was undefeated.
[00:27:39] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:27:40] Speaker C: So just with two visits, and I'm not saying this happens with everyone and every time, but when you build it up, it just gives you confidence to know what you'll do.
[00:27:48] Speaker B: That's it. Yeah. And sometimes it just clicks. It just clicks, you know.
Let's take another break. When we come back, I want to talk about some, some practical strategies. But I also wanted to. We've got a couple of email questions from listeners if you don't mind taking those that's fine. Okay. We'll be right back. You're listening to brain matters on 90.7, the capstone.
WVUAFM Tuscaloosa.
[00:28:23] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling, and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listeners. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:29:03] Speaker B: Hey, you're back listening to brain matters on 90.7 the Capstone. I'm BJ Gunther. We're talking tonight about wrestling through adversity. We literally were just talking about wrestling an athlete that Dr. Christine Silverstein worked with in the past.
And when we left off, I was asking about some practical strategies for listeners, you know, for people who, when they feel overwhelmed or stuck, you know, in their struggles. What can they do?
What are some of the first things you would tell them to do?
[00:29:37] Speaker C: Well, the very first thing is to learn how to breathe. Because when we're tense, we don't breathe. We hold down.
[00:29:46] Speaker B: Right.
[00:29:47] Speaker C: And especially if you're an athlete, like this wrestler I was just speaking about, you're not getting oxygen to your brain or your muscles or your vital organs.
And some people say, oh, that's too hard to do, Dr. Silverstein, to breathe while I'm playing my sport. And I said, well, you have to breathe anyway, so you might as well.
[00:30:07] Speaker B: Learn how to do it. And people will.
I'm sorry, Excuse me. When I say, when I talk about breathe, sometimes students will just kind of like look at me. Like, I've tried that. I've done that. You know, it's so simple, but it's exactly what you're talking about. I think a lot of times they're not really taking it serious.
[00:30:28] Speaker C: Well, yes, but the fact is you have to breathe anyway. But this is a technique. It's called abdominal breathing. Yes. And if you watch athletes on tv, like in the free throw line when the bat is boxed, they're taking deep breaths. You know, they're breathing in and they're breathing out. And it's triggers, relaxation, if you wanted to. So it's not just. It's been proven scientifically. Right. So. Oh, yeah, you're releasing the energy. And I use this also as a trigger in another way. Say you have this fear of your opponent, say, I'm going to talk about wrestling again. Or it could be the pitcher in a baseball game, but you have this opponent and you're looking at this opponent like, oh, he's a state champion and he's really good and he's ranked and this and that. And you're attributing all these qualities to this person before you even start to wrestle in match, right. And you're giving away all your power, I call it points for peanuts. You're giving everything away to your opponent and you're envisioning your opponent winning before you start.
So that's one of the things. So I have this. Yeah, I have this green recycled funnel from, from the Recycle center here in New Jersey, and I use that as a tool.
So you can imagine that I hold the funnel up and they practice with it and then imagine it later. So you breathe in and then you hold your breath and you breathe right into the funnel.
[00:32:02] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:32:02] Speaker C: And all that energy goes right towards your opponent and your opponents can feel it.
There is one wrestler that I know of, his name is Matt Fury and he's also a martial artist. He wrote about it in his book how he used to wrestle Dan Gable. And he didn't know how every time, even though he was bigger, stronger, Dan would always win. He talked about his energy, right? So this energy is right towards your opponent. They feel it on some level. And besides that, you're psychodynamically changing anxiety, which is using up energy, into scoring right towards your opponent. And it works great.
And so when you're on the mat, you're just thinking in your mind's eye that there's a funnel there and you're breathing into it or on the base, in your Nevada's box, wherever you are. So this is very valuable and so easy to use. So you're recycling your own energy and using it wisely.
[00:32:59] Speaker B: Wow. Well, I know, I know. Our football team utilizes the breathing technique. And I'll tell you, this weekend when we played the University of Georgia, and I'm here at the University of Alabama, we were a three point underdog and the commentators on TV mentioned our quarterback using breathing techniques to calm his anxiety. He breathes four in, four out. And I mean that if that's not a great advertisement for what you're just talking about, I don't know what is exactly.
[00:33:30] Speaker C: You have to look at the greats, you know, they all do that, gymnasts before they walk out.
[00:33:36] Speaker B: And we won.
So that matters.
[00:33:40] Speaker C: Yes, well, that helped too, but it's.
[00:33:43] Speaker B: Like what you said, you know, visualizing winning, breathing in and out. I mean, who knows how detailed it was?
[00:33:51] Speaker C: Or who knows quarterbacks use that. I know Drew Freeze used that when he was. When he was playing. And he could even close his eyes and throw the ball to the other end of the field and somebody would catch it. He knew exactly where to throw it, but that was all in his imagination. He knew what to do.
[00:34:07] Speaker B: Visualization. Let's take our first email question, if you don't mind. What kind of personal strengths can an individual develop by wrestling through adversity?
[00:34:20] Speaker C: Well, you can develop strengths because you're willing to look at what the challenges are.
So if you're having challenges like taking an exam, you get, you know the material and you think, I'm not really smart in that subject. Or you might think you're really smart, but you just set yourself up to fail by what you were thinking. Say before you got into the exam room, you were already wondering, well, did I study enough? Am I good enough? Am I smart enough? This is my worst subject in kind of thinking. And then somebody might come out of the class before who took the test. And they say, oh, that was the hardest test. And then. And then you hear, oh, and he's really smart in math. And he said it was hard. It must be really hard. So you're setting yourself up for failure. So what you have to do, and this is strength to know first of all what it is you need to work on. And then you begin to see yourself doing really well in that class, taking your notes, studying, improving your study skills. But also, there's one thing that I use to help you move along, because you may not think you're making any progress, and you may want a lot of progress, and it might not happen automatically. You have to practice. But one thing I developed is a feedback loop. They call it feedback loop analysis. So you can start right from the very beginning. You can start to see yourself now. You're going into the classroom. You know, you're sitting down at the desk in the chair.
As soon as you sit down in the chair, you feel just at home in the classroom, you know, so you're already imagining this. You set yourself up for it. As soon as you pick up the implement, whether it's a pen or a pencil or even the computer these days, as soon as you put your fingers on the keys, you. Oh, you feel the energy coming right out of your fingers. And by the time you get to the test and you hear the instructor say, here's the Exam or start the exam. You're already prepared to answer the questions one by one. Pace yourself down the page, knowing just what to do. And the answers begin to jump off the page at you because you're in the zone.
I've used this for a real estate exam in New Jersey. I'm a real estate agent and I passed. Really? With great grades. I also use it in the graduate record exam, so it's great for professional exams as well.
[00:36:48] Speaker B: Wow, I'm overwhelmed. You're also a real estate agent. This is blowing my mind.
A woman of many talents. This is a great question.
[00:36:57] Speaker C: So at any rate, to answer that question about the strength. So, so say you have a test and now you're practicing this and you take an exam, you can always put it on the feedback loop. And the feedback loop that I develop is to look at what you did to prepare. I studied this, I did it this way, I studied the night before, whatever, around this circle. But the question that I ask in the middle is what counts? And that is, so what was I thinking when I was taking that test? What was I feeling?
What was I feeling? And that's very important to answer. So you answer that question and you look at, well, what did I succeed in? I got halfway through the test. Maybe I just need to sustain it. So you put it on the feedback loop. You look at what you have to do to improve, and then you do it all over again. You start to mentally rehearse it, physically practice it, see what you could do to add to your repertoire to be a great test taker.
[00:37:52] Speaker B: Oh, that's so hard. I mean, we have a lot of students come in with test anxiety and sometimes they don't say it immediately, but then we get around to it and this would be a tool they could use. It's hard to.
You just have to kind of practice it over and over again.
[00:38:11] Speaker C: Well, you practice it, it becomes second nature to you. So these things, once you learn them, they're yours forever. And I say they're as free as the air you breathe. Once you learn them.
[00:38:22] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, once you get to be a senior or graduate student, most of the time it is better.
You've had to take so many tests, you know, it's like exposure therapy to the max.
What about. Okay, another question and hang on, Catherine. I'll go to the break right after this. But this, this is an interesting question. Please tell Dr. Silverstein that my 14 year old granddaughter is extremely athletic. Junior Olympics three times.
She gets so nervous and has not run in finals, she Must be a runner.
Though she progressed by winning, I noticed that it is her approach to life in general. If it is something new, unfamiliar, or has an unknown outcome, I have to force her to participate. Once she is there, she is fine. For example, she refused to go to the interview for debutante club. I forced her and now she loves it. She hid in the bathroom and cried to avoid trying out for track in middle school. I had to drag her out and force her. She broke the record and then broke the record she set.
Wow. She also avoids making friends. She said, I hate making friends. Please help.
[00:39:40] Speaker C: Okay, well, one good skill that I teach, also part of the mindful toughness skill sets, is called mental recall.
It's just like mental rehearsal, except you're looking at your past experiences. Many times people fail over and over again. For instance, this one international wrestler I once saw on tv, he was interviewed right before his match and he had wrestled the same opponent many times, like 24 times, something like that, and failed. So the reporter said, so what do you plan on doing this time? Put the microphone in front of his, oh, I'm going to win this time. Do this and do that. Well, I watched him there and he lost the 25th.
Change anything, right? But so, so you might look at a failure and. And recall that over and over and punish yourself because you failed. But what mental recall is about is picking out situations where you achieved success.
So you can look back, get in the zone. Do you deep breathing, get into the space and imagine yourself back there. So she has a lot of wins.
She was able to join the deb club or whatever it was that she won. She could look back at that and remember it will remind her of that. She said, success. So you see yourself, feel yourself, hear yourself back there, and you imagine that you're there. What was happening before, how did I perform? What was the result, the medal I wanted, whatever. And then what I like to do in this mental recall is attach a power word to it. So it could be something simple like SAT or something like that, if that's what you're practicing. And then you just say the power word after you practice this sometimes, and right there in the present moment, your confidence comes back just as much as in this past experience.
And so that's a very powerful tool. I've used that with wrestlers, and I can tell you one example that that was really interesting is this wrestling. He was a senior and he was going off to Cornell in the fall, but at the end of the season, right before states, he injured his knee and it was really painful, but the doctor said he could wrestle if he wanted to have to have surgery afterwards.
And so his brother was always going to the state championship, his younger brother, and he had never been there before, so he was anxious, and he kept saying, but my knee and this and that, you know, and, oh, the bad luck when he first came to me. But I helped him to build up in his mind, his knee was as strong as the uninjured knee, at least in his mind. But then I taught him this mental recall technique.
And at first he didn't think anything of it, but his mom was a psychiatric nurse, so she was trying to encourage him, Right. So he's in this match, it's the regional match that. Where he could qualify to go to states.
And he had been having this habit of getting pinned in his matches, which isn't a positive thing if you're a wrestler. So at any rate, he was known for getting pinned at the end of a match.
So. So here he was on the mat, and he was getting put on his back, right? So his mother stood up, and I heard this from her friend who brought her son after this incident.
His mother stood up and said, say your power word. Say your power word. She's screaming onto the mat. And so all of a sudden, he must have said it because he reversed his opponent.
[00:43:21] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
[00:43:22] Speaker C: And he pinned in 4 minutes and 22 seconds into the match.
And so I read the newspaper, the newspaper, the journal said, oh, why did he. When he's always getting pinned? I don't know what happened to him, but I'm thinking, I know what happen. And he said his power word because he practiced it.
[00:43:36] Speaker B: That's amazing.
[00:43:37] Speaker C: On to the state championship. And he placed there before he went to Cornell. So that was very inspirational. And I helped him with his knee, to heal his knee with imagery.
[00:43:47] Speaker B: Can you use a power word when you're trying to make friends?
[00:43:51] Speaker C: Of course.
[00:43:52] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:43:53] Speaker C: Yes. There are so many, so many ways so to make friends. You can imagine it first. This is very powerful. So you can imagine. So what I do was with. With clients, and I actually have a video on my winning ways for teens. I have videos video list on my YouTube channel, the young Navigator. But there's a woman who was asking about her. Her nephew, her niece. So anyway, there's this idea that you can practice ahead of time and develop conversations with. With the person, and you don't have to actually expose yourself to it. So you take a deep breath, you do your mental rehearsal, and you see yourself, feel yourself, say I once worked with a young boy who was 13, and he. He had stutter. He had a speech impediment. But he wanted to. He wanted to meet this girl, this cute girl on the school bus now that he was 13, but he couldn't get the words out. Also.
Also in math class, he was a whiz in math, but he couldn't get the answer out when he raised his hand. And so this was creating many challenges after years and years of speech therapy. So I took him with imagery, the top of the mountain.
And this story is in my book.
I called it the line that Roared. So he was a little lion, and he went up to the top with the king from the lions, had a big roar.
And we went through this several times, this imagery. And then one time he came in, maybe three sessions in, and he was crying, and he said, Dr. Silverstein, you tell me to do this. It doesn't work.
And I don't understand.
You don't understand that there are words I can't say, just burst dead into tears.
So I'm thinking, okay, so what do we do this session? So I took him up to the mountain in his mind's eye, and he was. He was beginning to roar louder and louder. And so by the time we finished the session, and I count out, count up, one, two, three, eyes open.
I looked at him, I said, so tell me, what are the words you can't say?
And they just came out. All the words that he couldn't say just came out.
[00:46:12] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:46:13] Speaker C: And we both looked at each other and just, like, smiled, right? They just came out automatically. And so he was able to meet the girl, and he was able to answer the questions in the math class.
[00:46:23] Speaker B: Oh, and they're married now.
That's amazing.
[00:46:30] Speaker C: Now they don't talk to each other anymore.
[00:46:33] Speaker B: And they're married now. No, I'm kidding. That's a whole other show.
Let's take our last break. When we come back, maybe, if we have time, we have one more angel email question and then we'll wrap it up. But we'll be right back here listening to brain matters on 19.7, the capstone WVUAFM Tuscaloosa.
[00:47:02] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling. And no relationship is created between the show hosts or guests. Guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties Crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:47:41] Speaker B: Hey, you're back listening to brain matters on 90.7 the Capstone. This is BJ Gunther. We're talking tonight about wrestling through adversity resiliency in college students. And My guest is Dr. Christine Silverstein. She has so many credentials, I can't even remember nursing.
She's a behavioral coach. She's an author. Is this the only book you've written or have you written other books?
[00:48:06] Speaker C: I've written contributions to books and I spend a lot of time writing for professional journals. I'm a historian, so I write historian.
[00:48:15] Speaker B: Real estate agent in New Jersey.
I can go on.
We've got one more question. Email. Can you discuss the importance of a daily routine and structure when someone is in a season of healing?
[00:48:30] Speaker C: Yes. Well, we all need to heal from something, whether it's from the flu or from a wound, you know, emotional wound. And so I have a daily practice and I've used this since I had my challenges with fertility. And that is I go into the Zone every day, at least twice a day, once in the morning when I wake up. And also I do my mental rehearsals and things as I'm writing to get inspiration.
I just wrote an article on Gen Zers and how they're having trouble getting into the job market and what CEOs need to do to help them move forward in their. In their careers to be prosperous. And so I knew what I wanted to write about and also the history of it, where I think it originates from 9, 11, because of the age, the age of when Gen zers were born, 1997.
But I, I had challenges getting into the, the deep, the deep thoughts about it and also how to write it, because this is for the world, the CEO world. So CEOs all over the world and what to say to them and how to say it so that they could change their habits. So anyway, I would go into the zone regularly during the course of the day and just imagine myself there. And that's what great people did, like Thomas Edison and got in the zone. He had these little Chinese balls he held, and if they dropped on the floor, he knew he was sleeping, so he'd wake up. And that's how he developed the light bulbs, according to the guide that I had at Thomas Edison's lab.
[00:50:15] Speaker B: Wow.
So you mentioned mental rehearsal for. Basically, could you use that for a writer's block mental rehearsal?
[00:50:24] Speaker C: Of course.
[00:50:25] Speaker B: Okay. I thought you Said that. But I have students who come in and they are either burned out or they're stuck or they lose. I've got several right now who have lost their motivation.
[00:50:37] Speaker C: It's easy to lose motivation. And so you're talking particularly about writers in just general.
[00:50:44] Speaker B: In just general with college, you know.
[00:50:46] Speaker C: It'S easy to lose your motivation. So many discouraging things and so much pressure and. And, you know, to achieve competition.
Competition, yes. There's so much competition.
And that's not even talking about the sports. That's just.
[00:51:01] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:51:02] Speaker C: Competition to get into graduate school, med school, whatever, after college.
[00:51:07] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:51:07] Speaker C: So, yes, there's a lot. But that's the thing. You need to believe in yourself. And you need to remember back.
I'm pretty smart.
I won the spelling bee in the third grade. And meant to recall that if you have to go back that.
[00:51:21] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:51:23] Speaker C: And say, I'm really smarter. I graduated, you know, at the top of my class or something like that. Or even if you haven't achieved success. Because I had many challenges, like in high school with math, because my teacher was an auditory teacher, and I'm a visual learner, and I had so many challenges.
And she used to teach with this big stick, you know, like the big point and banging on the floor, and we had to recite our homework. A plus B equals C. And if you got your answer wrong, she'd bang on my desk with the stick. You know, I was petrified of her.
And so.
And if I asked a question, she'd say, oh, you're wasting the class time, you know. But what really got to me and I overcame this was the midterm exam. After the midterm exam, the teacher rearranged our seats in the classroom.
And according to your grade. So first seat, that person had the highest grade and vice versa.
So when she calls my name, out, out.
I'm in the last row, last seat.
[00:52:25] Speaker B: I would have been right there with you. Yes.
[00:52:27] Speaker C: And she. And she. And she told everybody I was the dumbest person in the class by doing that. And that was such a block for me.
So many years. Yes.
[00:52:37] Speaker B: Humiliating, too.
[00:52:39] Speaker C: But when I got to college, I learned how to do math visually, and I excelled. And fortunately, my husband, who he just met.
[00:52:48] Speaker B: I just met him before.
[00:52:50] Speaker C: Right.
[00:52:50] Speaker B: He.
[00:52:51] Speaker C: He was a graduate student, an engineer, and he showed me how to do math visually, and I excelled in math all through college. Chemistry.
[00:53:00] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:53:01] Speaker C: Everything. Statistics at Columbia University. Pretty. Pretty cool, right? And so. So that was a block. And it would have been one if I Hadn't learned. Look, I'm a visual learner, and the teacher didn't allow me to learn.
[00:53:16] Speaker B: Just didn't know.
[00:53:17] Speaker C: Yeah, and they didn't know in those days, but it was really rough. So. So even if you had an experience where you didn't do well, it doesn't mean that you can't improve and that you can see yourself from the dental chair to graduating at Columbia, sitting there at my graduation in the pouring rain and it was outside.
[00:53:39] Speaker B: That is crazy.
[00:53:40] Speaker C: I just said I saw that picture of myself from the dental chair and that drove me through much adversity over there at Columbia University because I'm an eclectic thinker.
[00:53:49] Speaker B: That's amazing.
[00:53:50] Speaker C: I was crazy over there. What I said I was too positive. They told me.
[00:53:56] Speaker B: That is amazing. And it gives you so much self confidence too, you know, so much self confidence. Before we, before we close, you mentioned, did you say you have a YouTube channel called the Young Navigator?
[00:54:09] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:54:11] Speaker B: Is that a resource for anybody?
[00:54:14] Speaker C: Yes, it's for anybody. I have stories now when I'm, when I'm producing now I'm just starting up a list for my Operation Heal program.
[00:54:23] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:54:24] Speaker C: Something in 2018. And now I'm putting it on a list. And it's very popular. Just that alone. But it's not. It's not. I talk about my fertility challenges, but it's about any surgery. And it's. It's getting really very big views. But I also have Winning ways for Teens and that. The person who asked about her granddaughter. You can see some of the videos there at the end of Winning Ways for Teens where I talk about two different parents or relatives, about challenges. One of them is the anxiety about speaking and so what you can do as a parent. So it guides you. It has information. And my book also has the information. I have all the skill sets in chapter five and then case stories about how young people achieve success. And they were extraordinary people.
I think there's so much potential in our young people and you really need to tap into it before you get too old and tarnished and think of yourself as less than other people. Because you're great, you're special.
You have such gifts and talents that you haven't even tapped into. And imagine when you tapped to them how much you'll be amazed.
[00:55:40] Speaker B: It's going to be amazing. Thank you so much. This has gone by really fast, and I have. I haven't said that in a while, but this has gone by so fast. I really appreciate you being on the show and talking about the book. This is exciting for listeners, hopefully, because we have it's not just the college students who are listening. It's all ages. You know, I can't remember the radius of the radio station, but then with Apple, you know, it can reach a lot of people. So that's wonderful. Thank you again.
[00:56:10] Speaker C: Yes, of course. And people can feel free to contact me. I have a form on my website, idealperformance.net and also you can find out more about my book on Dr. ChristineSilverstein.com which is my book website. And I have some stories in there that are interesting and also the chapters of the book and why I'm publishing my book in Arabic right now. It's almost ready for publication.
[00:56:36] Speaker B: You're doing a lot. You've got your hands in a lot. This is great.
I'm going to make a few announcements before we go. Don't forget, our shows are recorded and podcasted On Apple Podcast, audioboom.com and Voices UA Edu. Just type in Brain Matters. You'll find some of our past shows and there's a link to Voices UA Edu on our Counseling Center's website. And that's Counseling ua Edu and I want to mention before we go that Suicide Awareness the Suicide Awareness walk is Sunday, October 19th at the Student Center Plaza. Registration will begin at 5pm the walk begins at 6, and then we should finish up by.
We also have several events planned throughout the week so listeners can follow us on Instagram at Tied Against Suicide to get more information. Brain Matters next week is going to feature the whole show is going to be about Suicide Awareness Week and we're going to have students from Tide Against Suicide. So that'll be exciting. I always like to thank people who have made our show possible. Dr. Greg Vanderwall, he's our executive director. He here at the Counseling center, my producer and colleague Katherine Howell, my colleagues here at the Counseling Center, Gareth Garner, who edits our shows for WVUA and the WVUA staff and of course my guest tonight, Dr. Christine Silverstein. And don't forget again, join us next week, same time, same place. We're going to talk about the Suicide Awareness Week activities and the walk and we're going to have students on from Tied Against Suicide. So come back. Thanks for again for listening. Have a good evening.
[00:58:17] Speaker A: This show was not intended as a substitute for professional counseling. Further, the views, opinions and conclusions expressed by the show hosts or their guests are their own and not necessarily those of the University of Alabama, its officers or trustees. Any views, opinions or conclusions shared on the show. Do not create a relationship between the host or any guest and any listener, and such a relationship should never be inferred. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, please contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective county's crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
